So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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