It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My dick has a subreddit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize