my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize