what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize