Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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