Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
the day after is always just damage control
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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