Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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