My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's shark week go big or go home
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize