i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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