Whod you bang
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i out mim tonsoeep
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