He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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