Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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