Can i not drive my cunt home
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize