did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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