is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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