This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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