i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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