there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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