how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize