she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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