Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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