OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
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He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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