Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
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To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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