Im at strip club and am horny
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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