Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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