he puts the penis in happiness.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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