DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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