help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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