he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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