he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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