I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize