So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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