if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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