Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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