she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
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some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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