i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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