He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize