She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize