dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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