You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
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she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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