$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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