you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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