don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize