found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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