her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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