You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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