dude i'm inner monologue high
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize