You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize