Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
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They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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