Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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