so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
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Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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