I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize