btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize